Breastfeeding is NOT the most natural thing a mother can do!

From the moment I got my head around being pregnant again, I was determined that this time around I would breastfeed. With my first pregnancy, we stayed in hospital for 5 days due to an infection. During this time I asked for help with breastfeeding but because I was on the ward amongst other women, I wasn't given the help that I needed. I was young and hadn't really found my voice back then so I didn't speak up or demand the help I desperately needed. So I accepted the bottles they would give me. When I went home I tried to pump but because I was so busy settling into motherhood, moving house and generally getting my life in order, I didn't follow through.

This time I was determined. When Mama was born, we did chest to chest and then the midwife put her on the breast, although she was on, I wasn't really sure that I was getting it. We weren't in hospital for long so I requested someone come and show me what to do before I left. Again, I left feeling unconfident, but had scheduled a phone call with a lactation consultant to help.

I took my brand new baby home and was really scared of the prospect of me not being able to feed her. It was uncomfortable and it really hurt. I would pray that she would sleep because when she was up it would mean that she wanted feeding. I remember Mama's auntie and cousin coming round to see her when she was a few days old and me secretly feeling embarrassed that I had to try and feed her while she was crying of hunger and me wishing that she would settle and just go back to sleep.

I had my mum in ear telling me that the baby must be hungry and that I should just feed her formula, and sometimes I would give her a couple of teaspoons of Actimel to make sure she had something in her tummy. If I had listened to my mum with her worries and why I should bottle feed and constantly asking me if she is getting anything, or if what she was getting was enough, I would have given up. However I did my research and I knew that at only a few days old, the baby's stomach is as small as a pea and they only need a little milk, often, to be satisfied. I was determined that I was going to get the hang of this and give her all the goodness she deserved. (Not saying that babies who are not breastfeed are not getting good nutritious milk).

Luckily for me, my friend had a baby 6 months prior and she came to the rescue. She showed me how her baby latched on to her and I followed her lead. It was difficult, she made it look so easy, but I felt helpless with sore nipples. I kept trying. I watched Youtube videos, and I asked friends for advice. What saved me was a lovely lady whom i'd never met. I'm in a Facebook group called ICOS and I responded to a post that I had just had a baby and was having trouble with breastfeeding. This lady called Araba, privately messaged me and we exchanged numbers. She called me and told me that she went through the same thing, she gave me the number to an organisation called NCT which gave breastfeeding support, and she also sent me a Youtube video which I watched over and over. 

When I tell you that God sends you angels in your time of need, I will always remember Laxmin and Araba, they literally saved my breastfeeding journey. I eventually caught on, I bought nipple shields because of the pain, but they didn't work for me, I lived for the nipple cream, and I powered through.

Now my baby is happy and fed and we are bonding. Not only am I being successful in providing for a tiny human, which in itself is absolutely amazing. I keep thinking of how wonderful women's bodies are, that we can sustain a whole human, give them the nutrients they need, know how much milk to produce, to produce milk according to their needs, to help them grow, give them antibodies when they are sick, it's just amazing. Most importantly it strengthens our connection and bond. I always thought that I'd be the least favourite parent, because she is a girl and they favour their father's and plus he's so fun. So it was especially important for me to have this time with my baby girl that was just ours. And it is. I look into her eyes as she looks into mine and I know that I am her whole world as she is mine and that feeling is well worth the struggle, the late nights, the lack of sleep, the constant tiredness and feeling like I'm milked like a cow. I would do it over and over again because it's not about me, it's about what's best for her. And I love her more than anything.

Don't feel discouraged if you don't get the hang of breastfeeding straight away, or at all. It is not natural for every woman, and some of us struggle to help the baby to latch, or suffer with cracked and bleeding nipples, exhaustion and the feeling of failure. There is so much help out there available to you. There are breastfeeding consultants in the hospitals who are happy to see you and give advice. There are breastfeeding organisations where you can meet up with other mums and seek help, unfortunately I had a covid baby so I wasn't able to meet up with other mums, which was a shame as I feel I could have really benefited from it. Talk to your mummy friends and family members who breastfed, they can help too. Don't struggle alone. If you really feel like you just can't do it, then remember "Fed is best". Don't be so hard on yourself, as long as your baby is fed, gaining weight and healthy then that's all that matters.

To those that helped me on my breastfeeding journey, thank you!! It means the world to me that you would find the time to help me and baby girl out, I dedicate this post to you <3

Until next time my loves, keep minding your Business, Babies and your Bae x