That P Word

My 11 year old son came home from school today telling me that he learnt about "what's that word?", "oh, oh yeah, Periods". He described the process from start to finish and at the end he said, "But why do I need to know about that? I'm a boy!"

I told him that just because he's a boy, it doesn't mean that he shouldn't know about the female anatomy and things the female body goes through. He agreed and then quickly changed the subject to the interesting facts he learnt about about reptiles, including the fact that female Komodo dragons don't need a mate to reproduce and if that wasn't fascinating enough, they can choose which sex they want their baby to be. If only life could be that easy aye?

It made me think, why do we automatically think of having "the talk" with boys and talk to the girls about periods? Like they don't go hand in hand?! Technically we can't have one without the other and they are equally important.

All too often (some) men get to an age where they still don't fully know the intricacies of the female body, or their way down the sanitary aisle, because all the while, they didn't feel they needed to know about periods and the school system, and parents, didn't feel like they needed to know either.

It's 2022 and there is still a stigma around menstruation. A taboo that we don't talk about openly in front of men, whether that is with partners or male friends. I've only recently started to talk about it openly with close friends. I remember growing up, no one would ever know I was menstruating. I would hide my sanitary towels in my bag and make the change in the toilets as discreet as possible, even opening up the packet really slowly, to prevent the noise (I'm sitting shaking my head lol).

In all seriousness, we had a PSHE (now PSE) class in year 7 where we were separated from the boys and taught about periods. We were given a packet of 3 sanitary towels amongst some literature. I started my period in Year 8 and I didn't tell my mum. I found the packet of 3 towels and used them. My mum happened to come across it in the bin (I don't know why she was rummaging around in there, as I'm sure I pushed it as far as it could go) and she came in to my room and asked me if I had started, in which I responded a shameful "yes".

I carried that through life, hiding that part of me every month. But why? Why is it made out to be such an unclean shameful thing? A study was done in America of 500 men of which 51% thought it was inappropriate to discuss menstruation at work and 41% admitted to making a joke about a woman's mood, stating that she must be on her period. In fact another study found that 72% of teenage boys were never taught about the menstrual cycle and were unsatisfied with the level of education they had or hadn't received regarding periods.

Could this be a contributing reason as to why women feel uncomfortable to talk about it openly? Or men react in a certain way to even just knowing that a woman is on her period, if they haven't grown up around women who were open about it?

Maybe if teenage boys were taught about periods, then they'd understand more about the hormonal changes that occur during this time. They'd understand the science behind the menstrual cycle and ovulation before the unwanted pregnancies. Or that it affects women differently, including the pain that some women endure, which has recently been likened to a heart attack. Maybe there would be less eye rolls in the office when a woman takes a sick day because her period is causing migraines or black outs. Hmmm, maybe men will be able to understand a little more.

We as women, also need to be less ashamed. I'm not saying that all women are, or that we have to walk around waving pads in the air like you just don't care, but feel free to do so if that's your prerogative, but periods are a part of us. It makes us women (don't come for me) and we should be proud.

For the majority of us, it means that we're able to reproduce, it's a blessing, even when it doesn't feel like it sometimes. 

Let's try to be open, talk to our boy children and teach them about periods, whether they think they need to know or not. It's important, and especially important for our girl children who grow up holding on to the stigma of the hidden 'P word'. Let's educate our boys and encourage our girls to own it and be proud!

Until next time, keep minding your Business, your Babies and your Bae x

Love Shan x